The Giving Tree

She was like the giving tree, she gave and gave and gave all that she had, and she was happy. Well she was happy because they were happy, and she was happy for a little while.

But she gave so much, and sometimes she was unsure about it, she wanted to make people happy, but the lengths she went to so that she could do that were not always within what she wanted to do. She gave the effort of doing the hard large amounts of work on projects, she gave rides, she gave up her time and she even gave BJ's, and much of the time she was taken for granted.

She needed to give, and to make others happy, and make herself happy and feel a sence of accomplishment and satisfaction. But she also needed someone who would support her, who would help make her happy when she needed it, and who would help her decide when she was helping someone and when she was being used.

Because for a long time, the giving tree is left a stump, sad and lonely, hoping that the boy will come back and it will be loved. And while giving is important, that is no way to live.

Quest for Independence

She always seemed shocked and surprised at the slightest offer of help, anytime anyone offered her a lift or made her dinner her face would light up as though it was the most wonderful thing anyone had ever done for her.

She always tried to be more and more independent taking leaps into the dark on her own, yet always searing for someone she could rely on and depend upon, someone she could trust.

All this made it seem as though she had never lived in a supportive environment when actually she had lived in a very supportive environment, she had just been let down often enough that she did not expect anything from anyone she was unsure of.

And she longed to be capable of Independence for she was sure that one day all she trusted and all she loved would fall through.

What she really wanted was to know she could take care of herself and to Know she didn't have to.

Lack of Independence

He shows a total lack of initiative and motivation. He appears to be entirely uninterested in developing his skills or independence in any way. He does certainly participate in a number of activities through which a great positive change could be accomplished. However he seems to not take them seriously, rejecting any constructive criticism he encounters and rejecting the many opportunities presented to him which extend beyond the basics.

He appears to be entirely comfortable relying on the people around him to support him, even when this support although freely offered greatly disturbs many of their days.

This is particularly noticeable in respect to his travel. His father drives him to his destinations requiring around four or five hours of traveling in an average day. His attitude towards public transport seems to be hatred, disgust and possibly even fear, yet he will not continue to practice driving so that he may obtain a licence.

He seems to believe that the support he receives now shall continue on forever.

Another Drunken Night

She hadn't seen him in a few weeks, she was a little worried about him, because he had mood swings a lot, and was glad to know he would be at the small house party on the weekend.

It was there that she found out his mother had died that week, and then he had been fired. Although all this was very bad news, he didn't seem to be taking it too badly, or at least he wasn't taking it any worse than you would expect anyone to be able to take it.

Being an adults (or young people over 18's) house party, there was a large variety of alcohol available to all, and a few interesting ways to drink it. Everyone was drinking, spare a designated driver or two, and all was going well, for a while.

He began slamming them back, sculling beer after beer with something else in between occasionally, everyone had a good laugh as he fell over on the grass and tried to get up again and fell again. Everyone decided he had had enough. He was well wasted when he asked for a knife, tried to touch the fire and asked for more drinks so he could drink himself to death. she didn't let him out of her sight except to pee after that. And he did not get another drop of alcohol.

But the alcohol he already had in him must have been to much, he leaned in to the grass to throw up, but nothing came out, he tried and he tried and people brought him water and tried to comfort him but nothing would come out. His breathing became very horse and occasionally would stop for a moment or two. She called and ambulance and every person at the party helped either get the ambulance there or stop him from trying to stand up and keep him breathing. Every time he stopped breathing for even a little, she would panic massively inside while trying to be supportive, calm and help him. She was so relieved when she heard the sirens.

The ambulance arrived, set up a heart monitor and breathing apparatus right there in the back yard, and stretchered him into an ambulance to hospital.

He spent the night in hospital, most of it waiting to see a doctor, and was released in the morning, perfectly fine, but it had been close.

Ice-cream and ADHD

Just another weekend spent at school, but this time he had managed to buy himself a tub of ice cream, it seemed such a luxury, his parents had spent so much money sending him to the stupid school, so much money that he didn't see.

So much money for them to feed him their crap food, for them to keep him in the dorms, to have him attend classes he didn’t listen in, to get him stressed out and depressed, to get him to start smoking just so he would have a reason to escape. He hated the food the school made, especially the even lower grade of food they made for the people who stayed there on weekends.

That was what the ice-cream was for, naturally he had to eat the entire tub in that sitting, he had no fridge, and even if he did someone else would scoff it before he could finish it, if he left it for even a few minutes.

He was grateful for one thing the school offered, The councilor who got him prescribed with ADHD. That got him drugs. He did not like the drugs, he tried them for a few weeks but his marks went down, true he wasn't so distracted but he wasn't actually paying attention either. What he did like about being diagnosed with ADHD and being given drugs was that it meant he could sell them, finally he could have some pocket money. It was with this money that he was able to buy ice cream.

Elite Athlete

She was an elite athlete, It was an obsession, and she was good at it, because she Trained Hard. She did not train hard because she had great ambitions, she had no goals to get to the Olympics or anywhere else, she just wanted to exert herself physically, it gave her a place to go, stuff to do and occasionally even a sence of accomplishment or direction. Most of all it gave her friends, and people who could support her.

Her sport saved her. It gave her what she needed, when she most needed it.

The mandatory drug tests even managed to keep her off drugs, even though she was searching for every form of relief she could find and surely would have tried to find it with them.

She stuck with the relief of wearing herself out physically in the company of greatly supportive people and friends. And although she was always searching for something more, that was essential to her, for getting her through hard times. The harder things were for her the harder she trained, she trained so hard that she represented her country, even though she never had any ambition to. And it did, for a small time, make her feel proud.

A Seccond Home

It wasn't long before the neighbourhood would collapse, anyone could see it was coming to an end. The youth's crime spree's had become more frequent and more intence, the carers of the children who were in care were becoming increasingly worried for the kids wellbeing, deeds done long ago in other locations from their travels or their previous lodgings were unfolding with lasting impacts.

The police would have labled some of them as lost causes, and told the rest to steer clear of them, but that did not mean they were heartless thugs. One of the last acts before the crew was split, only to hear from each other via msn or through news reports, was an act of caring, and of kindness. Generosity that failed, but that showed their true spirit of support.

There was an abandoned house, one that had it's windows boarded up ten years ago when the previous occupants had been brutally murdered in the entrance. All the windows had been smashed from the inside leaving shards of glass covering the floor, and the walls had been covered in graffiti.

They had to bend one of the boards that covered the window back, and remove the remaining shards of glass from the window to get in. But once inside the place seemed so safe and secure in the dark. They knew it would be the ideal spot to chill out. They changed the lock on the back door, and began cleaning the glass up by torchlight. They hooked up the electricity. And when chuckout night came, they began collecting furniture. They had 3 full length couches, a bookshelf, a fridge, a set of cups, several single comfy chairs, 3 blankets, 1 bed, 4 mattresses, 2 pillows and a lamp.

The place was set, and one of them had already decided to move in, to get away from her less than appropriate father. However the neighbour had noticed and caused a ruckus, having all their things thrown out, and having the placed locked up again.

Nothing had come from all of their work. Nothing except the knowledge of what a bunch of streetrats could accomplish, and the spirit they possess.

A Dark Drunken Night

She had enough, she felt so angry she could have killed her little brother. But she knew she didn't want to. so she decided to run away, just for a little while, one night would be enough.

She packed her car, and left, she drove 3 suburbs before acknowledging that she was bored, she wanted to drink, but she wasn't old enough to buy it herself. That hadn't stopped her before, but she didn't have any confidence this time, and she really wanted it this time, like she never had before.

So she called a friend, a friend she didn't want to see, but one who was old enough to buy alcohol. And she did want that.

They would not serve either of them while the younger one was in the store, so she had to describe the type of alcohol she wanted to the older one who had very little knowledge of alcohol, and buy it from a different bottle shop.When they Finlay got the alcohol, 1 bottle of strong spirits for the younger and a four pack of lolly water for the older, they took it to a park, and began to drink, talking of nonsensical things and occasionally having a smoke, even though neither of them regularly smoked.

The mood got darker and darker as dusk began to fall, it was dark enough that the younger allowed the other to put a cigarette out on her, for the temporary relief that pain normally brang her, but which it did not that night. The mood got darker still as dusk came to a close and the night was beginning the older decided to walk home, the younger accompanied her as there was nothing better to be done, and she was craving company. On this long walk it was that the younger mentioned her suicidal inclinations, with the promise of not completing them but the wish that she could.

When they reached the olders house the younger used the toilet and returned to the park alone. She made it the four blocks back to the park before she fell over and threw up, and threw up some more, and crawled a little, and lay on the cold grass in a ball, unable to move long into the night before climbing into the boot of her car and trying to sleep.

It was two weeks before the older one mentioned that night, still with a little worry, the younger one pretended it was all over.

The night ended much worse than it had began, but from then on, the younger one has only drunk alcohol when she's been in a good mood.

It's Sam not Samuel.

He used to be called samuel but now he introduced himself as Sam. He looked at people wierdly when they called him samuel.

This is because he did not like Samuel, he liked Sam, at least he liked him enough, he liked him better than Samuel.

You see samuel was fat, he was a looser, his parents were devorced, he was depressed, he was a dropkick who was a failier at school. He was a total failer at school, and being a boarding school that meant he was a failer all the time. He didn't play sports, his grades were bad, he got picked on, and bashed up, and got in trouble for it, he had NO friends. Everybody hated samuel, but the person who hated him most was Sam.

Although he knew it was true he didnt want to think that he had ever been that person. Sam had his own problems, but everybody does. Samuel couldnt sleep, he got stoned and passed out, Samuel never stayed in the same place for more than a few months but that was fine by him, his job hours were inconsistant and his spending habbits were rediculous. But all of that was ok.

Sam was thin, he had a girlfrined (something samuel could only dream of) actually he had had several, he was energetic, and full of stories and open minded, and he had friends, he could go to a friends place and get high and play guitar, and play station for days. Sam loved that, friends, he had many of them, from all over the place, friends from every town he had lived in.

For all his faults Sam was by far the better of them, Sam was happy, had friends, was independant, and most importantly Sam liked himself, in a way he could never like Samuel.

Lost and Trippin

She didn't know why he had called her until she arrived at the payphone.

The payphone was faulty, it had no speaker so he could hear her but she couldn't hear him. He would call her from it all the time, and she would have to guess what he wanted and ask him to press the button if it was right. Mostly when she got a call from that pay phone she would just ask if it was him, and then tell him she would meet him there. She often wondered if he was using her for her car, after all they were only friends and he was much younger than her, too young to drive legally. But he still hung out with her when her car was broken so she decided he was just the same as her, he liked the company, and was bored.

The rest of this post has been confiscated, As after further consideration the decision has been made that some things are not to be shared on the internet with strangers.

Appologies to anyone who has read and was hanging to find out what happened next.

Just because some content has been deemed inappropriate, does not mean that some inappropriate material will not slip through unnoticed...